We’ve never posted about a friendship ceremony before, but when Vy & Sahaja got in touch, we couldn’t resist sharing their story! Here’s what they had to say:
We are Vy (lesbian) & Sahaja (label-rejecting pansexual). We are from Moscow, Russia.
We are friends – nothing more and nothing less. Vy has been in a committed relationship for years. Sah is currently single. We met in early high school, and no matter our romantic statuses, we have been family for each other ever since (17 years and counting).
How did it start?
Vy: I’m a wild fan of On a Bicycle Built for Two. For years I’ve been dreaming about my own submission. But it took an unexpected turn: I realized that the first commitment ceremony I wanted was one with my best friend.
Sah: All of a sudden we saw how unreasonable it is that our society has developed no generally accepted way for those not romantically involved (friends, family members, etc.) to celebrate their love and commitment to each other.
What was the plan?
Sah: We decided to celebrate our love and say “thank you” for our past, “I trust you” for our present, and “we will” for our future in a friendship commitment ceremony in a beautiful old park in London. The plan was to say our friendship vows, exchange our friendship rings, and play our friendship songs for each other.
Vy: The preparation for the ceremony was a bonding miracle. Just one example: I will never forget how it turned out that we both chose the same thing to be engraved on our friendship commitment rings: it was “ebb & flood & ebb & flood” – in reference to Khalil Gebran’s The Prophet, on friendship: “And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live.”
What was the best part?
Sah: The best part for me was how exactly this project of ours brought itself into life. No one to thank for it but ourselves. Simple perfection, as crystal clear and true as we dared to make and experience.
Vy: All the way down to the ceremony I had fits of commitment anxiety: my vows were so damn serious. But as I was standing in that solemn moment right in front of Sah, in the middle of London, against a crowd of frowning, disapproving-looking folks, all I was seeing were her eyes – it felt like I was looking in them for the first time so openly, so confidently. We were standing on top of the world, on the top of us.
And what now?
Sah: Now we’re rock solid in knowing that there always will be an ebb and a flood and an ebb and a flood for us – and we will stay together through it all.
Vy: The ceremony totally impacted us. Further up and further in.