Wedding: Deborah & Melissa

I’m going to have to check the archives, but this just may be both our first kilt wedding and our first Tarot wedding.  Way to express yourselves, ladies! -S

From Deborah: Melissa and I met in person in 2008, after having known each other online for some years through Wicca discussion groups. I’m an author and was in Louisville, KY for a book-signing/lecture. She introduced herself and it was love at first sight.

After my lecture, a group went out to dinner, I said something clever, and Melissa asked me to marry her. At the time I thought she was one of those people who just said “will you marry me” whenever anyone said something cool, but she really isn’t.

For a lot of reasons—shyness, distance, I mostly dated men—nothing romantic developed and we became friends. That lasted for four years, during which I flirted intensely and wondered why she wouldn’t make a move!

Our romance first blossomed in March of 2012. The long distance thing was killer. She moved here to New York in early December, and at Yule I found an engagement ring in my stocking. I said, “Yes. Again.”

Our wedding combined a lot of the traditional elements of a modern American wedding with a lot of things uniquely our own. The ceremony was a Wiccan handfasting. Melissa’s best man was her ex-husband. My son gave me away. He didn’t want to give me away because it’s a patriarchal tradition, but I said to view it as being a psychopomp, and he agreed he could get behind that.
Our wedding theme was Tarot, which is something we both love. I had read Tarot professionally and otherwise for many years, and Melissa has a huge Tarot card tattoo. Our Save the Date page on Facebook used the Four of Wands. The picture on our invitations was the Two of Cups. Our cake topper was a replica of the Magician’s table. Our centerpieces were fanned Tarot cards, and our favors were individual Tarot readings.

The favors were really the pièce de résistance. I shuffled cards and wrote an interpretation for each one (these were intuitive interpretations, not “by the book”). We printed the interpretations on parchment paper and placed each, with its card, in a sealed envelope. Then Melissa shuffled the envelopes and put labels on them. The envelopes served as place cards—they had names and table numbers on them. Throughout the day, people kept telling me how amazingly accurate their readings were.

We had a professional photographer for the ceremony only, and our friends and family took lots of pictures at the reception.

Event Credits

Attire: Deborah's dress: Impression Bridal, Melissa's Kilt: UtilikiltsFlorist: Pearl River FloristLocation: The Eagle's Nest, Bloomingburg, New YorkOther: Cake topper by Lynn Lambeth ( MPR Studio ( The Eagle's Nest (
This entry was posted in Attire, Attire, cake, Classic, Classic, Credits, DIY, Florist, Lesbian Real Wedding, Lesbian Wedding, New York, Other, photographer, Photography, Real Wedding Inspiration, Region, Style, Tattoos, United States, Venue, Wedding Attire and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.


  1. Allison
    Posted Fri, Sep 06, 2013 at 1:45 am | Permalink

    oh so lovely…congrats x

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